Tag: RECK

caring, compassion, Core Four, empathy, Love, RECK, respect

30 Ways to Counter Hate

Matthew Vasko

Nowadays, it seems that hate is everywhere. We might encounter it most on social media, but it sometimes rears its ugly head in conversations with family members and acquaintances. We might even encounter it on the street or in public places. Here, you will find 30 thoughtful ways to counter hate compiled from trusted sources like the United Nations and Southern Poverty Law Center. Read on!

1.      Report Offensive Content: The very first thing you can do online is report offensive content. If someone is speaking hate on a platform then let the people who run that platform know! On Facebook, for example, there are simple options you can click to report hate. Most places don’t want to support hate speech.

2.      Share Positive Stories: Counter hate speech with love speech. Share positive stories about targeted groups, and cultures other than your own.

3.      Fact-Check: Don’t hate the haters. It’s not constructive. Instead, counter their hate with facts. Fact-check misinformation and wrong-headed rhetoric. Provide reliable sources to back up your statements.

4.      React! Do not remain silent. Silence implies agreement. You have to speak up to let hateful people know that they are wrong and that you do not agree with them. Remain calm and logically state your case.

5.      Change the Narrative: Challenge hateful rhetoric and misinformation. Help ensure that hate is not the dominant narrative by sharing a positive message that spreads tolerance, equality, and truth.

6.      Stand up! Stand with people who are targeted by hate. When targeted groups march, march with them to show that we all have a responsibility to stand up against hate.

7.      Report Threats: Report threats of violence. Don’t take violent threats lightly, report them to the police. Authorities need to be made aware of threats of violence in order to take appropriate action.

8.      Advocate and Educate: Advocate for responsible and respectful speech and behavior. Share campaigns aimed at countering hate speech. Educate family and friends about our shared responsibility to stand up to hate.

9.      Commit. Join a nonprofit organization that works to counter hate in your community. Join UNICEF USA, Amnesty International, or your local chapter of the United Nations.

10. Celebrate Other Cultures: Attend festivals, community events, and film series that celebrate and honor cultures other than your own. Bring your children and teach them to love other cultures, too.

11. Teach kindness and tolerance: Prejudices are not innate – they are learned traits. Counter hate at an early age by teaching children to be kind, respectful, empathetic, and compassionate to all people.

12. Calmly ally: Stand up for others! If you see someone being bullied or attacked do what you can to disrupt it. Ask the person who is being targeted if they need help. Calmly ally with the person or call for help.

13. Be the First to Speak Up: Social psychology studies show that when situations erupt, people look around them for cues about how to respond. Give the people around you the cue that they need to speak up or take action when hate rears its ugly head.

14. Build Up Your Courage: Work on building up your courage. Take small steps, which will lead to larger and larger steps. Do one thing to stand up to hate and then another and another. Visualize yourself taking action in situations where no one else is, so if that type of situation presents itself you will be ready.

15. Ask for Help: Ask for help when you need it. Be careful not to put yourself in harm’s way and remember that there is safety in numbers. The more those of us who are speaking up ask others to join us the more people will be involved.

16. Find role models: Look at the people around you who are taking action and speaking up and join them or model your actions after theirs.

17. Make All Kinds of Friends! Make new friends with people who are different than you. Get to know all sorts of people and make friends with people who have different identities and backgrounds than your own.

18. Ask People What They Need: Wear a pin or button that shows solidarity with people targeted by hate. Let them know that you are their ally and ask them what they really need in terms of support. Some people say, “Be a co-conspirator or an accomplice.” This means to even go a step further than being an ally.

19. Press the mental pause button: Be careful about not getting so caught up in your own day or your own business that you accidentally ignore someone in need. When you see something happening, pause. Take a moment from your busy day and ask yourself, “Does that person need help?”

20. Support victims of hate: Let victims know you care. Surround them with love and care. Do whatever you can to help ensure that they do not become victims again.

21. Report Hate Crimes: If you are the victim of a hate crime, report it to the authorities. Be specific and share as many details as you can.

22. Speak up: If news reports are covering hate, ask for equal time to speak up on behalf of unity, equity, inclusion, and diversity.

23. Keep educating yourself: Make an effort to learn more about everything from the hate you are working to counter to the people and groups affected by that hate. Learn the difference between a hate crime and a bias incident.

24. Hold a Unity Rally: If a hate group is hosting a rally in your area then create an alternative event for people to attend. Draw the media’s attention away from the hate rally.

25. Pressure leaders: Write and call your government officials and encourage them to stand up for targeted groups. Some of them will need to overcome fear of taking action and others will need to overcome their own biases.

26. Stay engaged: This is something we all need to keep at. So, find ways to stay engaged with countering hate. Promote tolerance and acceptance. Follow “It Matters How We Treat One Another” on Facebook and Instagram. We share something almost every day that counters hate.

27. Host an EDI Event: Host an Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion Event! This is especially important if you are a middle, high school, or college student. You have the power to change hearts and minds. You will be reaching your peers at an age when they are most susceptible to hate groups.

28. Keep Working on Yourself: Search inside yourself. Do your own work to rid yourself of biases and stereotypes. This type of inner work is a long process and takes time and patience with ourselves. Keep at it.

29. Practice mindfulness and meditation: These practices can help us learn to remain calm in high-pressure situations. You will be happier with how you handle yourself when you are confronting hate if you are able to remain calm and not be provoked.

30. Keep Practicing Love: Finally, heed the words of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate can not drive out hate, only love can do that.” As we often post on our page: We’ve got to love the hate out of this world! Keep practicing love and together we can create a more loving world and a brighter future for everyone.

Thanks for reading and keep fighting the good fight.

With love,

Matthew David Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion

Acceptance, compassion, empathy, kindness, Love, RECK, respect, Tolerance

RECK, Tolerance, Acceptance, and Love

Matthew Vasko

It might seem silly to read this, but I spent almost 15 years developing the concept of RECK (Respect, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness) for All. It’s such a simple concept, and I think some people look at it and say, “Yes, for course we should all treat one another that way.” But that’s part of what took so long. I spent a lot of time debating that which is essential that we need to give to all people, and that which we are realistically able to give to all people.

There are three elements that I’ve strongly considered including or did include in RECK at some point and time. Originally, I included Tolerance. But I discovered that tolerance is a fraught value for many people. Some people think of tolerance as too much to ask. Or maybe that tolerance also included tolerating ugly things like hatred and abuse. For others, they thought we should do better than tolerance; we should truly accept one another. Acceptance in beautiful, but can we accept child abuse for example? No. Most certainly not.

Those are the first two, tolerance and acceptance. The third value is love. Love seems like such a no-brainer for me, because I grew up admiring the teachings for Jesus and his concept of universal love. But the fact of the matter is that some people simply do not know how to love properly. Many people have been harmed by love that seeks to control or manipulate… harmed by forms of love that do harm.

So, here we are… RECK for All. Respect, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness for all people. I often think of RECK as a pathway to loving people properly. Plus, respect combined with empathy and kindness can lead to greater tolerance and acceptance.

The more I think about it, and the more RECK is tempered in the fires of real world use, the more I feel like it is enough. It is good. Yes, let’s improve our tolerance. Yes, let’s be more accepting of one another. And yes, by all means, let’s make an effort to love one another better… and RECK is the tool we can use to help us achieve those things.

All the best to you,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion

kindness, RECK, Uncategorized

2021: The Year of Kindness

Matthew Vasko

Although it started out like a normal year, 2020 ended up being anything but normal. Times of great change can teach us a great deal. The social isolation of 2020 taught us how much family, friends, and community matter. There was more complexity to 2020, of course. There was also social and political unrest, and mourning for the loss of loved ones to COVID-19 and to other causes.

Perhaps 2020 also brought you some joy. Hopefully, it did. That seemed to be a lesson of 2020: that we all have the power to help improve the lives of those around us in small and large ways. And that’s where our theme for 2021 comes in. We’re branding 2021 as “The Year of Kindness.” The time just feels right. Doesn’t it feel like we need a year of kindness?

So, let’s focus on the positive. Let’s think of ways to brighten the days of the people we love and even complete strangers. Practice random acts of kindness towards all kinds of random people. Practice deliberate acts of kindness for the people close to us in our lives. Stated simply: Let’s keep kind in mind. Do all things with kindness.

At Century of Compassion, we believe that all people deserve to be and should be treated with respect, empathy, compassion, and kindness (RECK). Often, when I speak of kindness I make reference to loving kindness. This is kindness taken to the next level. Kindness done for, through, and with love. Kindness matters. And we should be kind in a loving way.

Please subscribe to our blog and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at @RECKforAll. We’ll continue to provide inspiration throughout the year.

With love,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion

RECK

Fauci Prescribes a Healthy Dose of Respect

Matthew Vasko

In an article in the Los Angeles Times on Friday, infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci addressed concerns that many Americans say they would not get the COVID-19 vaccine when one becomes available. An article subheading entitled “Debunk false statements about vaccines with respect” states, “Fauci said there’s a hardcore group of anti-vaxxers ‘who, no matter what you do, you’re not going to change their mind.’ But there’s also another group of people who are against vaccines because, Fauci said, ‘they’ve absorbed misinformation.’ Fauci said people should not ‘denigrate, accuse or disrespect people who don’t want to get vaccinated if you feel you want to convince them to change their minds. If you could, in a way that’s [non-confrontational], give them the correct information, you may be able to win them over.'”

This statement from Fauci echoes a case I often make about attempting to win people over to your side – especially on social media. I regularly say that we are never going to be able to argue or shame people out of their positions. The way to win people over to your side is to focus on the positive benefits of your side of the disagreement. With time, we can often coax people over to our way of thinking.

The problem with blaming and shaming is that it doesn’t give people any wiggle room. And once people feel cornered they go into fight mode (and often double-down on their position). We are much better off to focus on the positive and work to coax people out of their corners. This is the approach I take with RECK for All on social media. I might point to a problem, but then I quickly shift to how we can best fix that problem through having respect, empathy, compassion, and kindness (RECK) for all people.

This is true of several aspects of this pandemic. Take mask wearing as an example. If we want to win people over to wearing masks then we need to keep selling them on all of the positive reasons why it is wise to wear a mask. After all, mask wearing helps to protect everyone. It is important for the greater good. Wearing a mask makes you a hero! (See what I did there?)

So, let’s keep focusing upon the positive. Keep working hard to win people over to your way of thinking by focusing upon its positive aspects and benefits. Because when you treat all people with respect, empathy, compassion, and kindness everyone wins!

Love, RECK

How Do We Reduce the Hate?

Matthew Vasko

As the United States presidential election enters the home stretch I am becoming increasingly alarmed by the high level of hatred I see present in our nation. It seems like as the election heats up so do people’s tempers and negative feelings towards their political foes.

As I was typing the headline for this post I imagined someone responding with the comment “GET RID OF TRUMP!” But that type of comment is exactly the type of thing I am referring to. I feel like I need to be honest and say that I don’t see all of the hatred coming from one side in this election cycle. There are people on both sides of the political aisle who like and follow our RECK for All page on Facebook, and I feel the upset of conservatives on our page who are aware of the hatred liberals have towards President Trump and feel as if it is directed towards them, too.

For my part, I wish to reduce the level of hatred in all people – no matter what their beliefs might be. Hate, as I see it, is part of the problem in this country. It causes us to become further polarized and seems to ignite a passion in people that causes a great deal of anger and vitriol. We need to work on ourselves. We need to let go of our hate.

As I see it, if we regard all people with respect, empathy, compassion, and kindness, then it is impossible to hate anyone. We can oppose philosophies while maintaining a level of respect, empathy, compassion, and kindness for our fellow human beings – whoever they are and whatever they believe.

Let’s all make an effort – right now, while tension is at its highest – to cool our thoughts about one another. Recently, I wrote a piece about letting go of enimation, that can work here, too. We need to stop thinking of people as our enemies and imagining them doing all sorts of horrible things. We need to remember that we are passionate, because we all love this country. We all want to see the good old USA improve and become “a more perfect union.” We simply disagree about how to do it.

And then there is this. When we vilify people and paint them as evil, it marks the person. We need to learn to separate people from their ideology. Fine, you hate white supremancy. I get it. But we must learn to separate white supremacy from the people who exercise it. We need to allow room for people to grow. We need to keep in mind that people can change. We need to allow people to see the error of their ways and turn away from dark ideologies. People can change. People can give up white supremacy. That happens.

If you believe your ideology or belief system is better then make an effort to convince others of that. Sell the positive and ignore the negative. We simply must make an effort to let go of our hate or things are going to continue to get worse instead of better. Let’s make a greater effort to think of and view all people with respect, empathy, compassion and kindness. This will help us to see that people are just people and capable of change. Let’s all make a greater effort to love one another and do so properly.

Thank you and may you have peace.

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion