This Holiday Season, don’t just Deck the Halls, RECK the Halls!
The season of Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/New Years and all the other winter holidays is upon us! It’s time for lots of festive gatherings and hopefully lots of fun. Of course, we know that whenever people gather conflict seems inevitable. Someone is certain to bring up politics or make a hurtful comment and things can quickly take a combative tone.
This year, use the principles of RECK to help you navigate those tricky holiday gatherings and prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret later. RECK stands for Respect, Empathy, Compassion, and Kindness. Treat all people at the festivities you attend with RECK and things are certain to go better… maybe even the best ever!
Start from a place of respect. Set aside past conflicts and negative feelings and treat everyone respectfully, no matter how they might treat you. You set the tone. Make it clear that you are willing to be respectful no matter what. This typically means observing the Golden Rule and treating everyone the way you would like to be treated. Do your best to be aware of what sets other people off and try not to broach sensitive subjects. For example, if your cousin has been out of work for six months then focus on topics other than your new promotion or how great your job is going.
Next, keep your sense of empathy active and do your best to be empathetic with everyone. Make an effort to gauge the emotions of other people in the room and meet them where they are. For example, if one of your friends just lost a parent this year you might share how difficult your first holiday season was after your parent passed, or ask them how they are doing. Be sensitive to other people’s feelings and do your best to help lift their spirits if they are feeling down… not everyone feels joyful around the Holidays.
When appropriate, make an effort to be compassionate. Again, the Holiday Season can be difficult for some people, especially if they have recently experienced a loss. This can also be true for someone who has recently experienced a break up. If your sister and her boyfriend recently broke up, then do your best to give your sister a little extra attention this year. Spend time talking with her at family gatherings and maybe even give her a call on New Year’s Eve just to let her know you’re thinking of her. Loneliness is worse around the Holidays, so help people you think might be lonely to feel less so.
Finally, in all situations: Be kind. Kindness matters. And it especially matters around the Holidays. You will get so much further with everyone from new acquaintances to close family members by being kind to them. Especially, with family members with whom you have had tension in the past. Being kind to people works like a salve or balm on old wounds. With kindness and time even the deepest of wounds can heal. So, if you and your uncle have always been at odds, surprise him by treating him like your new best friend and he might just return the same back to you.
Make “respect, empathy, compassion, kindness” your Holiday mantra. Repeat it to yourself as you make your way to even the most stressful of Holiday gatherings, and I guarantee that you will have a merrier and more joyful Holiday Season as a result!
Peace and good fortune to you this Holiday Season and always,
Matthew Vasko
Founder, Century of Compassion
Century of Compassion 