Category: Well-Being

peace, Uncategorized, Well-Being

War Is An Interpersonal Problem

Matthew Vasko

When you stop and think about it, war is, at its root, an interpersonal problem. Consider it. Wars start because a couple of people – leaders – were unable to resolve their differences peacefully.

This gives us a very different perception of war, doesn’t it? Rather than thinking of war as some inevitable clash between powers, it lays bare the fact that if people in leadership would simply slow down and take more time to resolve differences amicably, then wars could quickly become a thing of the past.

Wars always end in negotiations. So why not just skip the killing and bloodshed and go straight to negotiations? This is how we create a world of peace: We teach our leaders that we want peaceful resolutions to conflict. We make them work their shit out.

Wherever there are people, it seems, there will always be conflict. Still, conflict can be resolved through sitting down and talking until resolution is achieved. The results might be different than if armed battle occurred before the talking, but maybe not by much.

For example, after World War II, national boundaries returned pretty much right back to the way they were before the war. Russia is at war with Ukraine now, but after the war is over – after however many years – the international community with see to it that Russia returns Ukraine’s territory back to them. And how many more lives must be taken before that happens?

It’s time that citizens start to speak up more loudly that we want an end to armed conflict. We need to tell our leaders that the time has come to negotiate peaceful resolutions to problems rather than constant war and death.

It’s going to take a body like the UN working to draft a Universal Declaration of Peace and then setting up a neutral location for nations to negotiate peace in order for this change to happen.

It probably sounds like science fiction, but it just might be achievable in our lifetimes. The world is changing rapidly. Communication is better than ever. With the proper political will, lasting peace can and will be achieved. We just have to want it badly enough to prioritize peace over war.

All the best,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion

Photo Credit: VectorStock

meaning, Uncategorized, Well-Being

10 Ways to Add Meaning to Life

Matthew Vasko

It’s common to be moving through life, doing your best to balance all your responsibilities and enjoy what leisure time you have and still be fighting a constant nagging feeling that something is missing. That thing, we often find, is a greater sense of meaning.

With that in mind, here is a list of 10 things you can do to add greater meaning to your life. Effort has been made to make these items that are accessible, doable, and that do not require major life changes.

1. Slow Down – Making an effort to slow our pace can help us become more aware of moments that might otherwise be lost to us. Pay attention to your surroundings and observe details like a colorful wild flower or beautiful sunset.

2. Appreciate the Little Things – Our days are filled with beautiful little moments if we make an effort to appreciate them. Smelling the coffee grounds while we are making our morning coffee can help provoke meaningful connection to the Earth, listening to the song of a bird can help lift our spirits, and so on.

3. Brighten Someone’s Day – Whenever you feel like you don’t matter, go and do something kind for someone else. You will quickly be reminded that you very much matter and that what you do matters.

4. Be of Service – This is similar to the last one, but on a grander scale. Volunteer in a soup kitchen, plant some trees, paint a community center… Acts of altruism pay us back many times over with the meaning that they add to our lives.

5. Practice Mindfulness – Studies show that a regular mindfulness practice can lift our mood and help us make meaning of otherwise mundane tasks. One such practice is mindful eating. Rather than simply shoveling the food in, pay close attention to your eating. Smell the food, notice how it feels in your mouth, really take the time to taste it, and reflect upon how the food’s ingredients were grown, picked, cooked, etc. All of these things combined make eating more meaningful and less just something you do every day.

6. Ask People How They Are Doing And Really Mean It – Take the time to show someone you care about them by asking them how they are and really listening to their answer. If they say they’re just “OK” then unpack that. Why are they just OK? What’s bringing them down? Can you be of assistance? You’ll be surprised how taking the time to care deeply about others will help make your life more meaningful.

7. Tell People How Much They Mean to You – It’s easy to think that people know how highly we think of them, but the fact is that people don’t know unless we tell them. And you might be surprised how hard people can be on themselves. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. This one will add more meaning to your life and theirs.

8. Write a Thank You Note – This one is like the last one on steroids. Imagine what it would mean to you to know that you made a difference in someone’s life. You possess the power to make that happen for someone else! Write to someone who has made a positive impact in your life and let them know how you feel. It will be meaningful for you both.

9. Be Affectionate – Touch can be powerful. And affectionate touch can be highly meaningful. Keep in mind that consent is vital, but if the other person views it positively then affection is a wonderful way to add meaning to healthy relationships.

10. Discover Your Passions! – Is there anything you’re passionate about? If not, then you’re simply not getting to most out of life. Keep searching until you find one or two things that really excite you. Participating in engaging activities or hobbies can add mounds of meaning to our lives. It doesn’t have to be expensive; maybe you’re passion is hiking, biking, or volunteering. The important thing is to do things that matter to you and live it up!

All the best,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion

compassion, connection, Core Four, empathy, kindness, Love, Obliterate Hate, respect, Uncategorized, Values, Well-Being

We All Share A Common Humanity

Matthew Vasko

Stop. Take a breath. Forget about everything you’ve been indoctrinated into over the course of your life. Zoom out on planet Earth. As you look you will see a simple truth: We are all one humanity. There is one human species on this planet and we are all part of it. There is no “us” and “them.” There is just us. All of us. One human race.

This is the simple fact of the matter. When it comes right down to it, we are all more alike than we are different. We all want similar things: love, safety, security, food, water, shelter. We all want to be free to achieve our best version of ourselves and to live our best lives.

With these simple truths in mind we need to learn to live together. We need to learn to get along with one another. We need to learn to respect one another and honor the things in one another that make us different. This is the challenge of our times. This is the path to greater peace and prosperity. This is how we change our shared world for the better.

Don’t buy into the nonsense. Don’t believe those who wish to divide us. They are unwell. They are poisoned by the toxic tribalism that has kept us separated for millennia. We need to grow up as a species and learn to overcome petty differences. Because in the end, we are all capable of getting along with one another and even loving one another.

Love. That’s really what it’s all about. We live to love and be loved. The problem is that not all of us have learned how to love properly. True love does not seek to control. Real love does not do harm. In order to love properly, love must contain four basic elements: kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion. I call these the Core Four.

With the Core Four in place we can learn to love and love well. We can lay a foundation that allows for trust to grow and flourish. We can help each other enrich our wellbeing. The Core Four works on an individual level, on a community level, a national level, and an international level.

We need everyone to embrace and act upon the Core Four. If each individual would learn to treat one another with the Core Four values of kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion we could overcome much of what ails the world. What we need is a Global Covenant to commit ourselves to the Core Four as individuals, communities, societies, and globally.

Such a commitment would be no small feat to be sure, but it’s worth striving for. With the help of the Core Four we could all look forward to an ever brighter future with greater wellness and peace for everyone.

Isn’t life hard enough? Doesn’t nature dish out enough hardship without us making life harder for one another? First, do no harm. Then, love and love well. Love with the principles of kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion always in your heart and mind.

A brighter future is possible.

We each really and truly can make a difference in the world.

Let’s all strive to be the best that we can be and to love one another with the added benefit of the Core Four to guide us.

After all, we all share a common humanity.

Wishing you the very best,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion.

Uncategorized, Well-Being

No “Us” and “Them”

Matthew Vasko

I’m approaching the age of 50, and over the nearly half-century that I’ve been living on this beautiful spinning orb I’ve been watching it shrink and shrink. Not literally, of course. But in wild and fascinating ways. Since the 1970s (when I was born) the economy has become more global and trade has connected the world in circuitous and complex ways. And with the internet and social media, it seems like the world has gotten really small compared to how vast it seemed just 40 years ago, in the 1980s, when I first woke up to the world.

Due to all of these changes, the world has become increasingly interconnected. Now, it seems like nearly all of Earth’s nearly 8 billion inhabitants are just a few clicks away. Increasingly, we are learning that all people the world over share more commonalities than differences. People everywhere want many of the same things: peace, security, food, shelter, water, good health, and opportunity. We all want to love and be loved. These things are universal.

For this reason, when we speak of “us” and “them” we are really referring to us and us. We all are human beings with similar wants and desires. And, as we continue to learn, we are all interconnected. The actions we take towards others seem to come back to us with increasing speed.

We need to cast off “us vs. them” thinking, because increasingly it is actually “us vs. us.” We all need to think of ways of being that benefit all people, because we all are affected by people’s actions. Increasingly, we are seeing mass migrations of people and this has to do largely with the fact that – thanks to social media – people can easily see and be constantly reminded that they could have it better somewhere else.

Individuals want to be in the places where they can have the basic things we all desire. These are the places where they want to raise their families. These are the places where they want to work. This makes perfect sense and is easy to empathize with. After all, we all are pretty similar. Chances are that if I want something for myself, others want that type of thing for themselves too. This makes sense.

Due to the fact that we are all so similar, due to the fact that we want similar things, due to the fact that the world continues to shrink, we all need to start to think of this planet being made up of “us” and “us.” People in far away places aren’t all that different from you. People who move to where you live from other places aren’t all that different from you.

With this mentality, we all can learn to see each other as similar and get along with one another. Let’s constantly look for the ways that we are all more alike than different. Let’s look for commonalities in culture and in ways of being. Let’s strive to love one another and be the kind of person for others that we would like others to be for us. Let’s make constant effort to be kind, respectful, empathetic, and compassionate… no matter how different someone might seem at first glance.

Things are getting better. The world is improving. Over the course of this century, the world is going to become less violent, less turbulent, more peaceful, and more prosperous. We will have a brighter future with us and us… all of us.

kindness, RECK, Values, Well-Being

If You Care And Are Kind Then You Make A Positive Difference!

Matthew Vasko

Some of you might look at the title of this post and think, “Well, of course.” But there is a chance that this simple fact might not be obvious to you as it was once not obvious to me. Going back about 16 years, I got the idea to start hosting volunteer events each month as a way to help people make a positive difference in the world. My theory was that, like me, there were probably lots of people who wanted to do good in the world, but simply didn’t know where to start.

Over the years, I’ve come to see that how people simply move through the world makes a big difference in the lives of those with whom they interact. I think when I was younger I was more of the mind that only big acts made any real difference in the world. However, I have come to see that everything we do every day – the kind of person we choose to be and how we choose to treat others – makes a difference.

So, I have come to the conclusion that if you care and are kind then you make a positive difference in the world. If you care about others as you go about your daily routine, taking the time to really see people and really hear people, then I am absolutely certain that you are making a difference. A little kindness goes a long way, and spreading kindness as you go about your day has a really profound and positive effect on all of the people with whom you interact.

When we watch the news, I think we are often left with the feeling that the world is a really tough place and there are some pretty terrible things that happen. Yet, when we get out into the world we often see that it is a beautiful place and that kind, caring, compassionate, and loving things often happen. This is the culture that I wish to build upon and expand. And chances are that if you are reading this then you probably feel the same way.

We can contribute to and help build a culture of kindness, respect, empathy, and compassion by simply living those values in our daily lives. Sure, the big good things matter too. It’s good to volunteer at the local food bank and donate to worthy causes. Still, you can have a major impact on this world based simply upon how you interact with the people in your life. Be kind to the cashier, help your elder neighbor carry in the groceries, and love your family with all you’ve got. They’re worth it. You’re worth it. And the world is worth it.

Much love to you,

Matthew Vasko

Founder, Century of Compassion